In this month’s market report, we examine trends across the home demolition sector. The sector consists of every cat, every shelf, and every glass of water left near an edge by an optimistic human.
Market overview
Demand for edge based services has been steady for several thousand years. Records of the first demolition, a clay cup in a cave, show that the cat involved remained in the profession for the rest of her life, and was not charged.
Recent figures show a small shift. A growing number of owners are buying heavier glasses, thicker mugs, and, in one memorable case, a tumbler made of metal. This has created a new market niche: the Sound Demolition, in which the object does not break, but is made to ring on the tiles for an uncomfortable length of time.
Competitors
We have only one rival, a firm called Floor Level Solutions, which is owned by a dog. Their approach is loud, enthusiastic, and rarely successful. They knock things over by running into them. We believe this is not a service, but a personality.
Consumer trends
Three trends are changing our industry:
- Open plan living has produced more edges.
- Hot drinks have become larger and more precarious.
- Owners now work from home, giving us more opportunities to appear when they are on important calls.
Risks
The main risk facing our sector is the rise of the plastic cup. A plastic cup bounces. A bouncing cup is a cup that has the last word. We have launched a public information campaign, in the form of Nudge looking at plastic cups until they feel guilty.
Forecast
We forecast a stable year. Glass will fall. Plants will relocate. Candles will be asked to leave the table. The bottom line, as ever, will be a floor.
Conclusion
We thank our readers for their continued loyalty. A half empty glass is, to the pessimist, a sign of decline. To us, it is a lighter object and a faster fall.